The BCCI  is so panicky about any of its members coming in touch with the ICL rebels, that it has tried to keep Craig McMillan (Of the ICL league) away from the commentary box in the India-NZ cricket series. The New Zealand Herald has an interesting take on this:

It’s one thing to pull two players out of a festival match in case they’re contaminated by ex-ICL bacterium Hamish Marshall.

It’s two things to have New Zealand Cricket general manager of cricket Geoff Allott ring ICL virus Daryl Tuffey to ask him to withdraw from a State Championship match. But it’s a truly absurd thing to flex their muscles in the commentary box for fear that Ravi Shastri (IPL) and Craig McMillan (ICL) might accidentally exchange bodily fluids that could eventually infect all the right-thinking people of the cricketing world.

Now, I am not sure on the exact procedure Ravi Shastri and McMillan would use to exchange bodily fluids, but if they did it on live television, that would be lot more fascinating than all the cricket, no?

PTI reports that celebrity couple Liz Hurley and Arun Nayar are headed for splitsville as Nayar finds his wife “bossy”.

Amid speculations that Liz Hurley and Indian business tycoon Arun Nayar are headed for splitsville, the friends of the couple have claimed that the friction in their marriage is the result of Hurley’s alleged “bossy” behaviour.

“She’s more like a boss than a wife,” a friend of the couple told the Daily Mail.

Wait a minute – aren’t most wives generally bossy? Or is my and Mr. Nayar’s households the rare exceptions?

If wonder if Mr.Nayar can gather a bit of courage (unlike me) and walk over to his boss’ cabin with an application in hand – just like you take a leave application to your boss.

Nayar: I have an application to submit

Liz: For leave? Or a raise?

Nayar: An application for divorce.

Liz: (throwing the application into the bin) Rejected. Anything else?

Nayar: Oh yes, can you at least fire me?

Forget the fact that the International Cricket Council wants a guarantee from  tournament organizers that it will not rain. I now have a formula that ensures rains whenever you want it – and it doesn’t involve all the trouble Devanand undertook in Guide.

The procedure, though a bit tedious, is pretty simple.

Take your car (preferably black in colour) out of your garage for a wash. Spend a couple of tiring hours using all your tools – hose pipes, buckets of water, car shampoo, sponges, towels, wax to give it a new-car like look. Make sure the car is shining in all its glory and you are exhausted and drenched with sweat.

Park the car in direct sunlight, sit back on a chair and sport a satisfied smile.

I assure you, within half-an hour, it will rain.

Works every time.

There is a lady somewhere who has gone on to marry the Eiffel tower.

Erika La Tour Eiffel’s madly in love. Her partner resides in Paris and is the tall, strong and silent type. Yet since they married in a ceremony with friends in the City of Love, the logistics of an intimate relationship have been more than a little challenging. Her  spouse, after all, is the Eiffel Tower.

See – no matter what the experts tell you – size does matter.

Back home I can think of a number of people wanting to marry inanimate structures. Mayawati and Taj Mahal could make a nice pair. Advani, Pawar, Paswan and the likes probably would be desperate to marry 7–RCR.  

The International Cricket Council comes out with their latest WTF.

The ICC’s Chief Executives’ Committee (CEC) has recommended that the Champions Trophy in September be shifted from Sri Lanka to South Africa following concerns over weather conditions in the island nation during that period. The ICC board is expected to take a final decision on the matter on Monday.

According to the ICC, Sri Lanka Cricket (SLC) were unable to provide a guarantee during a teleconference on Wednesday that there would be no rains in Colombo during the tournament which runs from September 24-October 5.

So did ICC really ask Sri Lanka cricket for a personal guarantee that it won’t rain for two weeks? I can understand things if the ICC asked for a guarantee on issues like security. But who on earth can give anybody a guarantee that they would be no rains, earthquakes or tsunamis?

No wonder with such brains in the ICC, cricket runs so often into rough weather.

The Vatican’s official newspaper Osservatore Romano thinks that the washing machine has had done more for the women’s liberation movement than the contraceptive pill.

“In the 20th century, what contributed most to the emancipation of Western women?” questioned the article. “The debate is still open. Some say it was the pill, others the liberalisation of abortion, or being able to work outside the home. Others go even further: the washing machine.”

The article is entitled, “The washing machine and the emancipation of women: put in the powder, close the lid and relax”.

For someone who spends most of his time washing clothes or dishes the old-school way, I would think there’s some truth to the emancipation bit.

But what delights me the most is the Vatican’s opinion that washing is supposed to be the woman’s job. Sadly, my wife doesn’t seem to agree with that.

I wish she could turn into a Catholic.

Superstar Amitabh Bachchan will stay away from holi celebrations this year, reports the Times Of India.

Superstar Amitabh Bachchan will give Holi a miss this time as he feels the spirit of the festival of colour has been dampened by the  Mumbai terror attacks.

Meanwhile, Superblogger Manishwa will not celebrate holi this year as well. Why? In protest of the Times of India not covering Manishwa’s decision to not celebrate holi this year.

An interesting poster of the Rajinikanth starrer, Arasan the Don – dubbed from the 1991 flop Khoon ka Karz.

Via: Rediff

Former Pakistan president Pervez Musharraf want’s to play the role of the third umpire in the India-Pakistan disputes.

Mush wants to be third umpire between India and Pakistan.

I guess he would want action replays as well – of perhaps, Kargil?

Dear Shri Vijay Mallya ji,

Thank you dear Shri Vijay Mallya for spending $1.8 million of your precious money to bring back those personal belongings of Mahatma Gandhi – without which this nation of ours would have been doomed.

And what makes your act even more commendable is the fact that that the money comes from you during these trying times of recession – when 1.8 million could have bought you a couple of specialist 20–20 cricketers for Royal Challengers or a few much needed repairs to your Kingfisher aircrafts.

I promise you – years down the line, when you and and your companies are gone, and if somebody tries to auction off a vintage Kingfisher calendar with your favourite scantily clad models – I will be the first one to try and buy it – because all this is part of India’s unforgettable heritage.

Sincerely yours,

Manishwa