Category — Personal

Wish Karo, Dish Karo

Shah Rukh Khan, in a TV commercial tells us, sabse zyaada wish karo, dish karo.

Dish kare SRK, SRK ki biwi, SRK ka poora khaandaan.

Meanwhile, I need to do the dishes as well. Dish karo…

June 21, 2009   No Comments

The Millionth Word

The English language’s millionth word arrived this week – and sadly it is neither Slumdog nor Jai Ho. Not even Chuddies.

The millionth word, disappointingly, is Web 2.0 – something that’s probably spun by new generation spiders.

But I am surprised that English has only around a million words in its kitty. I was pretty confident that my personal vocabulary held more than a million English words.

Or maybe I misunderestimated.

June 12, 2009   No Comments

36 @ 36

As I turn 36 on Monday, I am reminded of an acceptable ratio that Sunny Gavaskar pointed out recently – your waistline in inches, shouldn’t increase your age.

Out here it is a neck-and-neck (or rather a paunch-and-paunch) race between the waist size and my age. Finally at 36 years and 36 inches, the gap has closed. And if the trend continues, the circumference will clearly emerge the winner by next year.

I have to pull things back – and that is why no blogging, no being a couch-potato and strictly no beer for the next one year. On second thoughts, what difference does a couple of inches make, when the average Indian waistline has gone up as well? So, all the decisions I just took are reversed.

Now that I have cleverly dropped you a hint, just remember to send in my gifts.

May 24, 2009   13 Comments

The Workaholic

A gentleman in Vadodara is now in the Guinness list just because he has worked 1,100 days without a break.

K Vijayan, 59, employed with a  city-based hotel, hasn’t taken a single day’s leave for over three years now. Leave aside casual or sick leaves, Vijayan hasn’t even taken a single weekly off. And, this unusual feat has earned him a place in the Guinness Book of World Records.

The Guinness Book of World Records (GBWR) has acknowledged that no person in the world has worked for so long continuously, without a break. “I had never thought of creating a record. I am a workaholic and work is my religion. I have never liked missing out a single workday throughout my career,” Vijayan told TOI.

Hmmph. I have done three times better. For the past nine years, I too have been involved in work without a break. Not that I am a workaholic or don’t like breaks – but the wicked woman in the house simply doesn’t allow me that luxury.

More on this later – for now, if you could excuse me, I have do the dishes.

May 8, 2009   6 Comments

The Double Anniversary Surprise

For the first time in nine years, I get an anniversary gift from my wife. I naturally am delighted.

I spot the specially wrapped package – simply can’t wait to discover what’s inside. I hurriedly unwrap it – and I am truly delighted. Here’s a special gift that I have always wanted to own. (Don’t ask what it is – allow me a little privacy). It’s a bit expensive, but something that’s made my day.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. It’s something I can’t do without.

A week later, comes the second surprise. When I find the entry for the gift purchase on my credit card statement.

Well, you rob Manishwa to pay Manishwa. It’s a gift I could very well do without.

April 25, 2009   4 Comments

Tiger Woods, Dishes, Trash

Tiger Woods tells us that he understands his wife’s language pretty well.

Another probing question: Does Woods speak Swedish around the house? (It’s the native tongue of his wife, Elin.)

“I speak a little. It’s not very good,” Woods said. “I’m better at reading than I am anything else. Or ‘Take out the trash’ or ‘Clean the house,’ ‘Wash dishes,’ I understand those.”

Doesn’t matter if you are world’s richest sportsman or a penniless blogger – there are a few things you simply can’t escape – death, taxes and the dishes.

Update: And here’s what GWB has to go through:

Bush also said that after the transfer of power, he flopped on the couch and sighed, “Free at last”. And, to this, his wife Laura replied jokingly, “You’re free to do the dishes.”

April 23, 2009   2 Comments

Knock, Knock

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Sa.
Sa who?
Sa who ko nahin jaanta hai saale?

April 8, 2009   No Comments

Happy Birthday To All Of You

On this special day, Manishwa wishes you all a very happy birthday.

Have a great day.

April 1, 2009   2 Comments

How To Guarantee That It Will Rain

Forget the fact that the International Cricket Council wants a guarantee from  tournament organizers that it will not rain. I now have a formula that ensures rains whenever you want it – and it doesn’t involve all the trouble Devanand undertook in Guide.

The procedure, though a bit tedious, is pretty simple.

Take your car (preferably black in colour) out of your garage for a wash. Spend a couple of tiring hours using all your tools – hose pipes, buckets of water, car shampoo, sponges, towels, wax to give it a new-car like look. Make sure the car is shining in all its glory and you are exhausted and drenched with sweat.

Park the car in direct sunlight, sit back on a chair and sport a satisfied smile.

I assure you, within half-an hour, it will rain.

Works every time.

March 16, 2009   3 Comments

Big B, Manishwa Not To Celebrate Holi This Year

Superstar Amitabh Bachchan will stay away from holi celebrations this year, reports the Times Of India.

Superstar Amitabh Bachchan will give Holi a miss this time as he feels the spirit of the festival of colour has been dampened by the  Mumbai terror attacks.

Meanwhile, Superblogger Manishwa will not celebrate holi this year as well. Why? In protest of the Times of India not covering Manishwa’s decision to not celebrate holi this year.

March 9, 2009   1 Comment