Category — Indian Television

Lousy Desi Limericks

There was a man called Ramalinga
Whose staff loved wearing blinga
But when he confessed
“Our careers are messed”
Was all they could singa.

There was a tiger called Thackrey
Never was short of an easy prey
When gunmen came en masse
He turned into an ass
And the typical roaring – turned into a bray

There was a man called Murgadoss
Who made a film on memory loss
It was gore, bore and snore
But raked in two crore
As for terror in Mumbai, short term memory loss

Here was our own Himesh his Highness,
Who was rather known for his slyness
One fine day he paled,
I cannot sing, he wailed
Now that I have got the damned sinus

There was Karan Johar from Bombay
Who swore that he was no way a gay
Snubbed by his jaana
He made Dostaana
And that finally was – the giveaway

In Rab Ne he found a new lass
SRK knew she had looks and class
Tani touched his feet
He thought it was sweet
Until Gauri Khan kicked his ass

January 12, 2009   3 Comments

The law is an ass. So is the judge.

Star Plus hasn’t run out of ideas – yet. It still keeps churning out newer reality shows – but this time with a twist. Apparently, a new show to be in air soon – Arre Deewano Mujhe Pehchano will have a donkey as the judge, instead of the usual Reshammiyas and Sidhus.

Kavita Kaushik will be anchoring the show along with a live animated character Ghadhashri. As the name suggests it is a donkey, which will scrutinise each gag and gives his expert comments in place of judges.

So, what’s new you might ask. Don’t Himesh, Abhijeet, Annu Malik et all look like asses? Worse, they even bray like them.

January 3, 2009   2 Comments

The Dawood Ibrahim Namesake

India’s most wanted man Dawood Ibrahim apparently was on a flight from London to Mumbai – and was trapped by investigators.

In a case of mistaken identity, a passenger by the name of Dawood Ibrahim, who had flown in on a Virgin Atlantic flight from London, was detained at Mumbai’s Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport (CSIA) by sleuths of the Intelligence Bureau and Mumbai Crime Branch.

[..]

Another airport official said the interrogators even pulled on his beard to make sure that he wasn’t wearing a disguise.

A close friend of mine tells me that a few months ago a man named Himesh Reshammiya arrived in a flight from Amsterdam – and met with similar fate by the security staff at the Mumbai airport.

First, the security staff brought a laundry clip – the kind with powerful springs – and set it up on his nose. Next they asked the suspect to sing a song called “Lut jaaun, lut jaaun”. When the man managed to sing, in spite of a blocked nose, the security staff went for a further confirmatory check. They pulled at his hair. When their fears were confirmed that he wasn’t wearing a toupee, they breathed a sigh of relief.

The entire security staff then pulled out  their ear plugs, relaxed the security alert and let Mr.Reshammiya go.

December 15, 2008   2 Comments

Overheard…

…on an obscure music channel called 9XM.

Socho agar koi aadmi naak se gaata hai, to woh muh se kya kya karta hoga…

Well…one thing Himesh can’t resist is to shoot his mouth off.

December 15, 2008   No Comments