Category — Deshwa

The Indian National Congress outwitted the BJP by getting the rights of the ‘Jai Ho’ song – for its election campaign.

Seeing new promise in the runaway success of ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, Congress has acquired the exclusive rights of the film’s number, ‘Jai  Ho’ for the summer campaign. According to sources, the party has secured the rights of both the lyrics and tune of the hit number for use in its campaign for the general election.

Sensing interest shown by its rivals in the film’s title song, Congress moved fast to clinch the deal.

Last heard, the BJP will be going for ‘Lut Jaaon, Lut Jaaon’ for its election campaign.

No this isn’t about pseudo-tigers like Shiv Sena  or even the LTTE. It is about a real tigers, that have stripes, roar, and er, mate.

Zoo authorities in Jamshedpur are looking for a suitable match for a 9 year-old tigress.

Authorities at the Tata Steel Zoological Park in Jamshedpur are desperately looking for a match for nine-year-old Shanti, a tigress.  The zoo authorities are concerned as Ben and Shyamali, the parents of Shanti have grown old and are unable to breed any more. Mating Shanti is the only option left to increase the population of tigers in the zoo.

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According to zoo authorities, they tried to ensure the mating of Ben and Shyamali last year on Valentine’s Day but the attempt failed as the tigress ferociously attacked her mate, injuring him.

You really can’t fault the zoo authorities for trying make the tigress’ Valentine’s day a bit special. But then they should have understood that the female species – whether tigers or homo sapiens, really don’t care for love, unless it comes wrapped as an expensive gift.

And yet, there is no guarantee…

Karnataka has now probably overtaken Bihar as the world’s favourite WTF state. The latest? The Karnataka Chief Minister’s decision to allocate Rs.130 crores to ward off sins committed by past governments.

Why did Karnataka chief minister B S Yeddyurappa earmark a whopping Rs 130 crore in the budget for temples and mutts?  By the CM’s own admission, it is to propitiate the divine forces to show mercy on Karnataka and ward off sins committed by his predecessors.

This revelation by the CM was made, when former dy CM Siddaramaiah, who has presented seven budgets in the past, scoffed at him in the assembly on Thursday for making such a huge allocation to temples and mutts. The CM’s response: “There are no rains and food production has fallen due to the sins committed by various people in the past. I believe in God. I have allocated money so that Gods will be pleased and shower mercy on us.”

If this Rs.130 crore miraculously does work, I assume the next year’s budget to ward off sins of this financial year, should be something around Rs.1300 crore.

The Times of India surely delves deep to dig out some interesting stories.

Buffalo swallows phone, gets 7 missed calls

This buffalo must have been taken aback when it heard a mobile ringing in its tummy. But not as much as the callers. There were seven  missed calls!

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Farmer Ishwar Totager lost his mobile near his cowshed on Monday. He suspects it must have fallen off his shirt pocket while he was cleaning the shed. The mobile was packed in a plastic pouch and the buffalo must have swallowed the pouch.

Totager forgot all about his phone. However, on Wednesday morning, he was surprised to find the pouch in the buffalo dung heap. The phone was not damaged as it had landed on the soft heap. What was more surprising was that the phone had recorded seven missed calls! No one knows what the callers heard. But the buffalo must have heard a ring every time a call was received. It must have wondered where the moo-sic was coming from.

The cell phone provider must be delighted – and probably now working on a campaign featuring the buffalo and harping on the provider’s coverage area – you can get our signal everywhere.

But I am a bit curious on why the Times of India is so concerned about the missed calls. Did it really expect the buffalo to take up the calls when the phone rang?

The Income Tax department is concerned about conmen who pretend to be IT officials.

The director-general of income tax investigation, P Ranganathan, on Thursday cautioned the public against conmen who used the department’s  name to rob them and issued an advisory to distinguish between genuine officials and fakes.

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In two recent cases reported in the city, elderly couples were duped by two criminals who claimed to be income tax officials and robbed the couples of their valuables. The conmen carried out searches’ in these houses and escaped with gold jewellery and cash.

The IT department probably now is concerned that tricksters are now eating into their personal earnings. Whether, it’s a genuine IT official at the door or fake one, how does it make a difference? Either way, your cash and jewellery will end up in their pockets.

I couldn’t resist clicking this headline.

Stallone didn’t come, but Akki and Bebo did

Of course the harmless story meant that Stallone didn’t arrive at some party, while Akki and Bebo did manage to make it.

And I expected the story to be something really masaaledaar. Why am I such a pervert?

Huh?

A few samples from the Times of India website.

You just can’t hold off to feel their candy kisses. Sensational icons of Bollywood with their delicious lips will make you eager to kiss them. Check out the babes waiting to please you.

Most people would like to kiss Kareena all round the clock. The ravishing young actress of tinsel has the wild and ultra hot lips to seduce.

Another mouth-watering celebrity to attract is Chitrangada Singh. Her captivating and delightful lips make many heads turn to the diva.

When you think of outrageous babe with awesome kissability, the hot sensation Katrina comes to your mind. Her gloopy and kissable pouts can drive anyone mad.

Somewhere in the offices of the Times of India is probably a computer monitor drenched with saliva…

For those involved in the underbelly debate, how is Delhi-6 any different from Slumdog Millionaire – except for a change in cities?

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I don’t read Amitabh Bachchan’s blog, but according to a HT report, he is a bit disappointed with the reviewers.

Bachchan noted that one critic exulted Delhi 6, starring his son Abhishek Bachchan, as “the greatest piece of cinema seen in a long time”, while another review screamed “the film is a waste of time… or words to that effect”.

“One states ‘this is Abhishek’s best and most mature performance’. And the other contradictorily says just the opposite. One lauds the sensitivity of the premise, the other laments the absence of it… So which opinion does one go by – if going by their opinion is what viewers seek.”

So why do film reviewers have so diametrically opposite views? Well, it depends – if the reviewer is on your payroll or not. So simple.

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The kala bandar in Delhi-6 fascinates me. I think it was in the summer of 2001 when the monkey-man menace broke out in and around Delhi  – I even remember the police issuing sketches of the suspect monkey-man who haunted people who slept on the roof-tops.

Well, all around the web, people have found the kala bandar reference in the film a bit silly. I thought the black-monkey was used as satire – that  people will fight over religion even where there’s no issue at all to fight over.

And honestly, it isn’t too far from the truth.

Just have a look at any news story on rediff.com. It doesn’t more than 5 reader comments to turn the message-board into a full blown Hindu vs. Muslim war zone – even if the news story has nothing to do with religion. The kala bandar then doesn’t look all that silly.

Russian authorities have refused to register a child who was named BOCh RVF 26062002.

Moscow authorities refused to issue a birth certificate to a six-year-old boy, whose parents named him BOCh RVF 26062002, an official said  on Wednesday.

“This case has been reviewed by several judicial agencies; but the parents have been denied the right to register the child with that name,” Tatyana Ushakova said. “This was done to protect the boy’s interests. His parents need to think how the boy can live with a name like that and not think about their own ambitions.”

Now, I could argue that BOCh RVF 26062002 is a lot more easier than something like Onisimova Fyodorovich Sviatoslavov, but we’ll debate that later.

It’s beyond me on why people, governments and societies have rules on what or how a name should be. If I wanted a name like manishwa007@yahoo.com, I see no reason why I shouldn’t be allowed such a name. It would be my bloody choice, right? But it doesn’t work that way.

My sister, who is a regular on this blog, doesn’t have a first name, last name or the middle name (something that retarded Maharashtrian babus insist that you must have). She’s just called “Anshu” with no prefixes or suffixes. And it was just a few weeks ago when I tried to register a domain under her name. As she didn’t have a first or last name, I couldn’t figure out what should be filled in the online forms. So I tried “Dr.” as the first name, and “Anshu” as the last name. And the system screamed – no special characters allowed. More on her adventures with her name here.

I still can’t figure out how Tamilians and other people who have initials – like N.Padma fill out internet forms.

BTW, if I called myself manishwa007@yahoo.com, would Yahoo Inc. sue me for trademark infringement?

The two HBs – Himesh Besharmiya and Harsha Bhogle now have a lot more hair to show off. Check them out.