Posts from — May 2009

The swearing-in ceremony had an interesting sidelight. A handful of ministers decided to take the “I solemnly affirm” route instead of the popular “in the name of God” route.

Of the 19 Ministers who were sworn in, a dozen followed the Prime Minister in taking the oath of office and secrecy in the ‘name of God’ while Sharad Pawar, A.K. Antony, P. Chidambaram, Sushil Kumar Shinde, M. Veerappa Moily, S. Jaipal Reddy and C.P. Joshi opted to “solemnly affirm.”

While, all DMK ministers solemnly affirmed as well, which isn’t a surprise – because it has been an atheist party.

The interesting part was Sharad Pawar. Pawar has probably been an atheist for all his life. But just before he began his campaign for Prime Ministership these elections, he made it a point to visit Shirdi. But given the results for the NCP and his ambitions, no wonder he went back to solemnly affirming. 

But then a few ministers taking this unusual route is happy news for me. It is certainly better than having a completely Ram-bharose sarkaar.

As I turn 36 on Monday, I am reminded of an acceptable ratio that Sunny Gavaskar pointed out recently – your waistline in inches, shouldn’t increase your age.

Out here it is a neck-and-neck (or rather a paunch-and-paunch) race between the waist size and my age. Finally at 36 years and 36 inches, the gap has closed. And if the trend continues, the circumference will clearly emerge the winner by next year.

I have to pull things back – and that is why no blogging, no being a couch-potato and strictly no beer for the next one year. On second thoughts, what difference does a couple of inches make, when the average Indian waistline has gone up as well? So, all the decisions I just took are reversed.

Now that I have cleverly dropped you a hint, just remember to send in my gifts.

Finally, somebody put all the bullion depository with Bappi Lahiri to some good use.

A gentleman in Vadodara is now in the Guinness list just because he has worked 1,100 days without a break.

K Vijayan, 59, employed with a  city-based hotel, hasn’t taken a single day’s leave for over three years now. Leave aside casual or sick leaves, Vijayan hasn’t even taken a single weekly off. And, this unusual feat has earned him a place in the Guinness Book of World Records.

The Guinness Book of World Records (GBWR) has acknowledged that no person in the world has worked for so long continuously, without a break. “I had never thought of creating a record. I am a workaholic and work is my religion. I have never liked missing out a single workday throughout my career,” Vijayan told TOI.

Hmmph. I have done three times better. For the past nine years, I too have been involved in work without a break. Not that I am a workaholic or don’t like breaks – but the wicked woman in the house simply doesn’t allow me that luxury.

More on this later – for now, if you could excuse me, I have do the dishes.

The TOI has two interesting headlines on the same day.

Tagore flunked school, St Xavier’s School reveals

Slumdog kids excel in exams

If the gentleman who dopped out of school ended up with a Nobel prize for literature, and kids with no schooling experience, excel in exams – isn’t there something wrong with our schools?

Or, maybe all is perfectly alright. I failed miserably in college too. Maybe there is a Nobel prize for me sometime in future. A Noble for blogging?

Though I understand very less about Barack Obama’s alliterative comment about Buffalo, Bangalore,  protectionism and outsourcing, somehow I have the feeling that Mr.President is increasingly sounding like my wife.

Not sure exactly what protectionism is all about – but it does sound like putting a barbed fence all around your place and banning all interaction with the outside world.

Now you get a hint of how things work at my place.

Just as Obama would like all his countrymen employed, my wife thinks I should be constantly have a job at hand. And that’s why no outsourcing. So it’s me who has to do all the chores – right from the dishes, washing, drying and the ironing. No outside help like the presswaala  allowed. Cost-cutting, you see. And instead of wasting time watching a cricket match, I have to water the garden in 44 degree heat.  Something the maali could have done.

But worse is the restraint imposed  on interacting with the outside world. All calls coming through – specially if it is a lady caller are thoroughly screened. And you cannot even eye the neighbour’s wife. Protectionism – or whatever it is, at its worst. And all it does is end you up in depression.

For those who think Obama should change his opinion on outsourcing- make him clean the dishes, wash the clothes of the entire family and clean up Bo’s poop for a week. And you’ll soon see him sing praises of Bangalore, Beijing and Bucharest. 

Okay, they are called ZooZoos and they are a big hit.

Let’s see if you can work this out. Which of the two zoozoos in the below Vodafone commercial is a lady zoozoo? The one screaming? Or the one hiding behind the car?

Not too tough, right?

More: What kind of a Zoozoo are you?

For long I thought that the “L” sign you saw on some erratically driven cars (like in the pic) actually stood for “learners”. A person who is learning  to drive – with a learning driving license has to sport that sign on his/her vehicle – so that other drivers are cautioned.

It was just a couple of days ago when a friend corrected me. The L doesn’t stand for “Learners”. It stands for “Lady”. What it signifies is that a lady is driving the car – and you better keep a safe distance – else she crashes into you.