Four Captains And A Politburo


Kolkata Knight Riders and the four-captain theory is at least getting the team much needed free publicity. While Sunny Gavaskar rubbishes Shah Rukh Khan and John Buchanan’s latest brainwave – King Khan is quick to point out that KKR is his team – and he’ll do anything he likes with it. And if Gavaskar wants his ideas to be put into practice, he should buy his own Chinchpokli Champions XI.  I think that’s fair enough – it’s SRK’s team and he’s free to do whatever he likes.

(Does this have anything to do with Gavaskar being pelted with eggs by the Calcutta crowd in the mid-80s? Well I don’t know)

But let’s come back to the four captain theory. I think that’s the way to go about it. After all, that’s how Kolkata works… I can now tell you what SRK and Buchanan precisely have in mind.

One, the four captains won’t be called ‘Captains’. They’ll address each other as ‘Comrades’ and the collective team of four will be called the KKR Politburo. And then there would be a General Secretary called John Buchanan – who in turn would be reporting on a hotline to SRK, who for some strange reason would be based in China.

When there’s a bowling change to be made or the fine leg to be brought inside the circle – the game would be called to a pause – a politburo meeting held – and then the General Secretary would take a decision. In case of problems, the call to China can immediately be made for a final decision.

Just in case a solution isn’t in sight – just as the game is slipping away quickly from KKR, the politburo will simply call the rest of the players (also called the trade union) and they’ll dig up the pitch, stone the floodlights, threaten the umpires, bash up rival players – and ensure a match abandoned.

That way KKR can never lose a match.

For those who pooh-pooh the four captain theory, just a reminder that it has worked for 32 years in Bengal now. And no reason why it shouldn’t work for another 32.

Posted by Manish on April 6, 2009 in In Bollywood,Deshwa,What the Fishwa?

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