Posts from — February 2009

At first I thought it is some kind of wonderful satire, but sadly it wasn’t. Congress spokesman Abhishek Manu Singhvi thinks George W. Bush should be awarded  India’s highest civilian honour.

Former US president George W Bush should be given Bharat Ratna, India’s highest civilian honour, for his contributions to the India-US  nuclear cooperation programme, a senior Congress leader said here on Friday.

“Give Bharat Ratna to Bush. I don’t know what the rules are but I will officially do something,” Congress spokesperson Abhishek Manu Singhvi said at the annual general meeting of the Federation of Indian Chambers of Commerce and Industry (FICCI).

Now, that India’s highest civilian award has now been degraded to an honour for idiots, may I suggest Abhishek Singhvi be awarded the Bharat Ratna first. Then follow it up by giving Himesh the honour. And then… well, the list is endless.

Here are news reports from the incident where an AI aircraft almost crashed into a presidential chopper.

The Indian Express Report

IC 866 aborted take-off at the eleventh hour after the controller spotted the presidential chopper — either an Mi-8 or an Mi-17 — on the active runway and alerted the pilot. ATC officials said the helicopter landed at the junction of runway 0927 and taxiway Charlie at 9.17 am, three minutes before its estimated time of arrival. A major disaster could have taken place had the tower not spotted the helicopter in the passenger aircraft’s take-off path.

The HT Report

“The plane was just about to take off when the pilot suddenly applied the emergency brakes… I saw a helicopter pass by as the pilot announced that he had suddenly sighted the helicopter and even the ATC did not know about the helicopter,” said Anshul Dhar, a Dubai resident.

The Hindu Report

The pilot of the Air India flight to Delhi–IC 866– aborted take off when he saw the helicopter landing on the runway he was about to use apparently due to wrong directions from the Air Traffic Control, official sources said.

So, who first spotted the helicopter – the pilot or the controller? And why are these news reports – covering the same incident so different in facts?

This reminds of a quote from someone unknown: After you’ve heard two eyewitness accounts of an auto accident, it makes you wonder about history.

Mumbai’s doctors decide to take a day off every month.

As a mark of solidarity, doctors across the city have decided to observe ‘No Practice Day’ once in a month to highlight the lack of security  for the medical fraternity. The decision comes after a day-long strike by the resident doctors of KEM on Tuesday to protest against the assault on five of their colleagues by the relatives of a patient over an autopsy issue.

After all the malpractice, overcharging, mis-diagnosis and blotched surgeries they do – no wonder they still call their work as practice.

Hope one day they permanently end their practice on patients and get back to work.

Mumbai Mirror has a fascinating report on how 82 railwaymen are on strike – protesting their boss’ who forces them to milk his buffaloes.

Eighty-two Central Railway (CR) employees from Kalyan are sitting on a dharna at the Divisional Railway Manager’s office at Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus (CST) protesting against their boss, senior sectional engineer (works) J P Shoke who they say, has been forcing them to not just milk his 11 buffaloes but even sell the milk in the market.The employees have also claimed that one of them was threatened with suspension, while 52 others received warning letters when they refused to perform the menial tasks.

Now, this is yet another insult to our Indian culture. A decision to not milk buffaloes goes against our tradition and I protest.

Dear Shri Lalu Prasad Yadav ji,

You are our beloved union railway minister, and also the King of Cows.  By refusing to milk the buffaloes, these railway employees have not just insulted our great Indian culture, but have insulted the sacred buffaloes as well.

I appeal to you that you immediately sack these protesting railway employees.

Sincerely yours,

Manishwa

When I have nothing else to do, I come with some really cheesy stuff. Just in case you would like to know more about Kareena and Saif, who incidentally have been tagged as by the media as India’s most glamorous couple (whatever that means) check out the below.

Why do you call them Saifeena?
Does Karaif sound better? Or Sebo? Or Khanpoor?

Why not just Saif and Kareena?
And then all you feminists would ask “why not Kareena and Saif“

Okay, why not Kareena and Saif, why Saifeena?
You didn’t ask that question when they coined the term Brangelina…

Are they the Brad and Angelina of Bollywood.
No, Brangelina are the Saifeena of Hollywood

Does Saif really love Kareena?
Se below question

Does Kareena really love Saif?
See question above

When do they get married?
Whenever sufficient funds for the permanent alimony is accumulated

You mean Kareena will marry for the money?
No, Saif will be the one demanding alimony

Why did Saif cross the road?
Because Kareena told him to do so.

Why did Kareena cross the road?
Because Saif told her – Bebo, you shouldn’t be crossing the road.

Why did Saif ask Kareena NOT to cross the road?
Because he wanted her to cross the road.

Why won’t Saif and Kareena be together on this Valentine’s day?
Haven’t you heard of the Sri Ram Sene?

Why did the waiter remove the chicken curry from the table?
Because he thought Saif said – Curry? Naa..

How did Kareena react when Shahid compared her to a cow?
She was moo-ed to tears

How did Saif react when Shahid compared Kareena to a cow?
He asked Shahid – dude, any chance of you both patching up again – and give me an escape route?

What did Kareena say when Saif disappointed her?
Bas, ho gaya?

Indian TV channels could soon be banned in Pakistan.

A top parliamentary panel in Pakistan today recommended the immediate ban on the beaming of Indian TV channels in the country, a news  report said. Pakistan’s Senate Standing Committee on Information and Broadcasting recommended to the government the imposition of immediate ban on Indian TV channels, The News daily said.

I wish these channels could be banned in India as well. Especially the news channels. But then, if it  happens, Barkha Dutt could turn into a full-time blogger. That would be even more fightening, no?

Everyday we learn about new derogatory terms. After ‘slumdog’, apparently ‘barber‘ is a derogatory term as well.

Just days ahead of its release Shahrukh Khan’s Billu Barber has run into a controversy. The Salon and Beauty Parlour associations are up in arms against the movie’s title which uses the word ‘barber’ which they say is objectionable.

In a last minute attempt to appease the barbers Shahrukh has decided to drop the word ‘barber’ from the title in the pre-release promotional campaigns.

Sadly, SRK didn’t name the film Billu Blogger. Else, I would have promptly protested against the derogatory title – and got my fifteen seconds of fame.

Percept Picture Company is now looking forward to produce a bunch of horror films.

Entertainment firm Percept Picture Company will invest Rs 100 crore in a new movie production banner christened Percept Horrotainment  said its COO Navin Shah.

[…]

The first movie to be launched under Percept Horrotainment is going to be ‘Grr….’ directed by Priyadarshan.

We already have had, Sshhh…koi hai, now we have Grr…kaun hai. And probably soon a horror-whodunit titled Phrrrr.. kisne kiya. Bollywood’s imagination is surely peaking when it comes to deciding film names.

But why do they need a new banner for horror flicks? Don’t most Bollywood releases (Ghajini, for instance) fall into the horror jonar in any case?

The NDTV Greenathon is on right now. While Milind Soman is running in circles all around Mumbai and people are pledging their support for the environment, I need to do something as well.

I’ll begin by saving electricity. By switching off the TV.

A man in Australia has been fired because he had “un-Australian”  toilet habits.

A man has been fired from his job, because he uses water instead of toilet paper.  Amador Bernabe, 43, is a machine operator in Townsville on a working visa from the Philippines, the Townsville Bulletin reports.

“I went to go to the toilet and I took a bottle of water when my foreman saw me and he said, ‘you can’t bring the water in there’,” News.com.au quoted Bernabe, as saying.

Now, though there isn’t any direct Indian connection to the incident, I still think it is a massive insult to our beloved Indian culture.  The fired-employee has every right to use water. And a very angry me, thinks we Indians must retaliate.

I immediately shot off an email to the IPL Commissioner, Lalit Modi – asking him to sack Matthew Hayden from the IPL, as a  retaliatory action – citing needless paperwork as the reason.

Lalit Modi was kind enough to reply. He clarified that he raised the issue with Hayden personally, and Hayden said :” In India, I always do what the Indians do. With so much of hot curry around, it’s always safe using water. The damned paper could catch fire…”