Posts from — January 2009

Who Needs Billu Barber…

The film’s composer Pritam Chakraborty does. Can Billu Barber please give him a hair-cut. And a shave?

January 31, 2009   No Comments

Padmashree Aishwarya Rai Bachchan…

That must be the joke of the year. Or the year of the joke, I am not too certain.

Though the Bachchan family’s official pimp, Amar Singh had a role to play in getting Ms.Rai Bachchan the award, it is encouraging that the Government of India is now honouring people manufactured from PVC as well.  

I wonder what what would happen if I go on to award Padma with the Aishwaryashree…  that’s way too dangerous to even think about.

January 29, 2009   4 Comments

The Slumdogs Strike Back…

No, it isn’t a sequel for Slumdog Millionaire. The slumdog critics have finally got their vengeance.

Nicholas Almeida, a social activist and slum dweller -  a critic of the award-winning movie “Slumdog Millionaire” has named stray dogs after those involved in the film to protest against the title.

Almeida said he would continue to press for the movie’s title to be changed, but has meanwhile held a naming ceremony for stray dogs in the slum to publicise his cause.

“I have named them Danny, Christian, Loveleen, Dev and Freida,” he said, referring to the director, producer, co-director Loveleen Tandan, star Dev Patel and leading lady Freida Pinto.

Way to go. Now, I would be even more delighted if these celebrity canines get an invitation to the Oscar night.

January 28, 2009   1 Comment

Ghajini to Obama in 3-weeks flat

Yesterday as I walked into a local multiplex to watch Slumdog Millionaire, I was amazed to see almost every employee sporting an extremely short haircut. When curiosity couldn’t resist, I grabbed an usher  with a similar hairdo and asked him why was everyone sporting the Obama cut? What the new Prez such a huge hit?

Nothing to do with Obama, he said. Three weeks ago the management had forced all its staff to go for the Ghajini cut as part of the promotional act. Thankfully, Ghajini is gone, the hair is getting back – and it now resembles Barack Obama’s hair cut. Splendid timing, I thought.

Just in case they let the hair grow interrupted for six more months, it would grow into the Himesh Reshammiya hairstyle – probably just in time when his next release comes along. As if one Reshammiya wasn’t enough for the world, imagine several Reshammiyas all around you. A chill runs down the spine.

January 24, 2009   2 Comments

Sher and Sherni Dutt

Just last week Sanjay Dutt, potential MP and confirmed MCP, flexed his muscles in an interview – and showed women what he thought was their rightful place.  A few excerpts as a quick recap.

Girls who become part of a new family after marriage must assume their new surname and all the responsibilities that come with it.

That’s a message not just to my sisters, but to all girls who hang on to their parents’ surname. It’s become fashionable these days. But I strongly feel that doing so disrespects the person they’ve married.

…if Manyata had said that she wanted to retain her father’s surname, I would’ve felt offended.

Had my mother been alive, she would’ve happily accepted Manyata. Manyata is a homemaker, just like my mother was.

While some might argue that Manyata Dutt really had no choice but to take up the Dutt surname – for the simple reason that she didn’t have a last name of her own. More on that some other time. Meanwhile, Indian Express comes up with a profile of Manyata Dutt today.

Family insiders reveal that Manyata wields iron-fisted control over his life. She has phased out many of his old friends who she felt were fleecing her husband. Dutt’s longtime secretary Kaleem Khan was also shown the door. Ditto for buddies Sanjay Gupta and Nitin Manmohan. Manyata handles her husband’s finances, looks after his diet and has a huge say in Sanju’s film decisions.

Hmmm.. so much for those macho quotes in the interview. But it’s a situation I am quite familiar with. Ghar ke baahar sher, ghar ke andar sheru.

January 24, 2009   1 Comment

Bollywood Driving Licenses


January 23, 2009   4 Comments

The Unexposed Amar Singh

My favourite politician Amar Singh organised his 78th press conference of the month. This time to expose the wounds he had suffered at the hands of UP policemen in Gorakhpur. The UP policemen had earlier mocked Amar Singh and challenged him to show his injury marks before the media.

“I want you to see the wound on my forehead, which I received in Gorakhpur due to lathi charge by the police”, Singh told reporters.

He also claimed to have received injuries in other parts of his body during protests in Gorakhpur on Chief Minister Mayawati’s birthday which he said he was ready to show to the reporters but not in public.

In the end, it ended up as a pretty dull affair – with Amar Singh not going public with his body marks. It would have highly entertaining to watch Amar Singh in one of those John Abraham poses. No?

January 22, 2009   2 Comments

Loo Talk

A bizarre survey conducted on behalf of Microsoft reveals that almost half of the Australians use their cellphones on the toilet.

One in two Aussies admitted on using the mobile phone while on the toilet, compared to 66 per cent of Chinese people.


The survey also showed that 24 per cent of the men found it acceptable to propose to their partner using their mobile phone compared to 11 per cent women.

Who else, but Microsoft can think of such crap surveys.

But I do like the Australian way of life. While half of the guys use the phone in the loo, and a quarter use the phone to propose to their partners – I wonder what percentage of Australians propose to their mates on the cellphone, while sitting  in the toilet.

Sadly, the survey doesn’t carry this figure. Neither does it mention what percentage got ‘yes’ as an answer.

January 22, 2009   No Comments

Obama Bhai, Obama Bhai…

A couple of Gujju musicians – Chirag and Jayesh – have gone on to create an Obama anthem in hindi. Check out the video.

Not sure if the video will get them an easy visa into the USA, but can somebody like Bruce Springsteen stand up and return the favour by composing “Modi, O Modi..”

January 21, 2009   2 Comments

Mrs.Mugabe Vs. Mr.Obama

The first lady of Zimbabwe, Mrs. Grace Mugabe apparently punched a photographer of the Sunday Times. And every time the paparazzi gets thrashed around, specially the British ones, I am delighted. Predictably, the newspaper has gone on an all-out attack on the Mugabes.

…the 43-year-old Mrs Mugabe – dubbed the First shopper of Zimbabwe – flew into a rage when she was spotted last week leaving the exclusive Shangri-La hotel. She had been staying there with her entourage at a cost of £2,000 a day while her country endures poverty, hunger and disease.


Before embarking on her Far East holiday, she withdrew $92,000 from the central bank in Harare. Yet there is no money available for water pumps and electricity supplies to ensure fresh water in the capital. Children die of cholera so that Mrs Mugabe can go shopping.

It is nice to know that the British newspaper is so concerned about the £2,000 a day spending and the cholera-ridden children.  But strangely, why is it so silent about the $150 million of taxpayers’ money being spent on the Obama inauguration?

January 20, 2009   No Comments