The Manishwa Bollywood Awards 2008

I like good Bollywood films. And I love bad Bollywood films. The badder, the better and certainly more enjoyable. It’s probably a bit perverse, but there’s nothing more amusing than a filmmaker or actor putting in an effort – only to see him fall flat on his face.

As an effort to honour these efforts, here is the Manishwa Bollywood Awards – the biggest phussses of the year 2008.

Film of the Year: Drona. Easily the most spectacularly shot nonsense of the year. It had Alfa Romeo car-chases, but yet when they fought, they used tubelights as swords.  Once they had seen the rushes, I wonder why they even went about promoting the film – with the Small B even running into the Bigg Boss household. If it wasn’t for a brilliantly timed hospitalization story of the Big B, the Small B would have been eaten up by the media.

Actor of the Year: Himesh Reshammiya. The good thing – he didn’t have a double role in Karzzzz. Monty was back with his waxed chest, ladies hairstyle and girlie jeans – uttering the most memorable lines of 2008 – main Ravi Verma hoon Kamini. And Ravi Verma would have mouthed an expletive from his grave.

Actor(ess) of the Year: Kareena Kapoor in Tashan. Size zero, abilities zero. She closely beat Kareena in Golmal Returns for the crown.

Debut of the Year: Harman Baweja: One actor who will certainly make it big. Around the year 2050 – when Hrithik would be thinking of retirement.

Song of the Year: Tandoori Nights: Fantastic song – made you feel like dumping Himesh and Urmila down a flaming tandoor. Meaningful lyrics as well: Jiya jale, jale , jale – what else would you get after a full-round of Tandoori chicken? Acidity and Heartburns, of course.

Director of the Year: Subhash Ghai: Two amazingly directed movies – Black and White as well as Yuvvraj – splendid examples of what his students at the Whistling Woods institute will be capable of.

Eyesight of the year: Anushka Sharma in Rab ne Banaa di Jodi for not able to spot her husband when he got rid of the spectacles and moustache. Maybe she needs Suri’s glasses as well.

Incentive of the year: Dostana for pointing us out the wonderful legal workaround to get past the immigration procedures quickly. Incentive for many to swing the other way.

Ulta-chor-kotwal-ko.. of the year: Raakesh Roshan the legendary lifter for accusing Ram Sampath of being money-minded when the former was caught red-handed lifting a song for Krazzy4.

Perfectionist of the Year: Who else, but Aamir Khan for putting in a year’s effort for the perfect garbage called Ghajini.

Posted by Manish on December 29, 2008 in In Bollywood,Hindi Music


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