Posts from — December 2008

There’s a life-sized replica of the Taj Mahal being built in Bangladesh and the Indian officials are fuming.

India’s embassy in Bangladesh on Wednesday voiced its displeasure over a life-size copy of the Taj Mahal, saying it would investigate to see if any copyright laws had been breached. 

“You can’t just go and copy historical monuments,” fumed a spokesman at the Indian High Commission in Dhaka.

Well, maybe they can replicate the Taj Mahal – but they surely can’t replicate the pollution in the Yamuna. Nor the factories that let off fumes in Agra. Nor Mayawati.

Well, it’s official. Katrina Kaif is now the most searched Bollywood celebrity on Google. According to Google Zeitgeist 2008, which releases yearly trends of search patterns, Ms.Kaif beat Aishwarya Rai and friend Salman Khan to get to the top position.

But more interesting is the fact – something that Google Trends shows up – is that Katrina’s searches were more from Pakistan than in India. And Peshawar is the city most obsessed  with Katrina.

There are other interesting queries as well. In the most “how to” list in India, there were a few surprises. Here are a few search terms that made it to the top 10.

1. how to reduce weight
2. how to kiss
3. how to earn money
4. how to get pregnant
5. how to learn english
6. how to gain weight
7. how to play guitar
8. how to create a website
9. how to impress a girl
10. how to tie a tie

How to get pregnant, eh? Nice to know that we are now a progressive nation.

India’s most wanted man Dawood Ibrahim apparently was on a flight from London to Mumbai – and was trapped by investigators.

In a case of mistaken identity, a passenger by the name of Dawood Ibrahim, who had flown in on a Virgin Atlantic flight from London, was detained at Mumbai’s Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport (CSIA) by sleuths of the Intelligence Bureau and Mumbai Crime Branch.

[..]

Another airport official said the interrogators even pulled on his beard to make sure that he wasn’t wearing a disguise.

A close friend of mine tells me that a few months ago a man named Himesh Reshammiya arrived in a flight from Amsterdam – and met with similar fate by the security staff at the Mumbai airport.

First, the security staff brought a laundry clip – the kind with powerful springs – and set it up on his nose. Next they asked the suspect to sing a song called “Lut jaaun, lut jaaun”. When the man managed to sing, in spite of a blocked nose, the security staff went for a further confirmatory check. They pulled at his hair. When their fears were confirmed that he wasn’t wearing a toupee, they breathed a sigh of relief.

The entire security staff then pulled out  their ear plugs, relaxed the security alert and let Mr.Reshammiya go.

My personal congratulations to President George W. Bush for managing to avoid the pair of size 10 shoes in Baghdad.

Let me assure you – avoiding two shoes hurled at you at quick succession is no easy task. I have been trained to avoid shoes, belans and every other kitchen weapon hurled at me for the past eight years. And the success ratio – after so many years of rigorous practice is just around 35%.

GWB did well – very well in fact. I don’t remember many times when I have avoided two projectiles in quick succession.

But that reminds of the times when my neighbours ask me – why do you and your wife keep laughing at the middle of the night?

And I tell them the truth – when she hits, she laughs. When she misses, I laugh. Hysterically.

It is school admission time of the year in many parts of India – and this is the time when school officials conduct interviews of children and parents. The interviews, to be honest, have little to do with gauging abilities of children, and more to do with figuring out the paying capabilities of parents. But here’s one incident I have just heard.

A doctor couple – who are a bit stricter than usual with their 5 year old son, took him to the customary school admission interview.

The interviewer kept asking question after question to the 5 year old genius – but the child simply didn’t utter a word in answer. Even routine questions like “what is your name” came up with no response. He simply kept mum throughout the session – and that prompted the interviewer to ask if the child had speech problems. The parents answered in the negative an swore that the child was a very talkative kind – and knew answers to all the questions asked. Maybe he was just overwhelmed by the scenario, they said.

The parents returned home with the child – feeling extremely embarrassed at their son’s performance in his first ever interview. They let off steam at the kid – shouted at him for letting him down.

When everything settled down after a while, the father politely and gently asked him – beta, why didn’t you answer the questions there – especially when you knew the answers.

The kid, grinned and shot back – Kaise band bajaa dee maine aap dono ki?

…on an obscure music channel called 9XM.

Socho agar koi aadmi naak se gaata hai, to woh muh se kya kya karta hoga…

Well…one thing Himesh can’t resist is to shoot his mouth off.

I have been a great fan of unusual voices – the rustic, unrefined kind. And Swanand Kirkire’s voice haunts. Primarily a songwriter, he isn’t a classically trained singer – and that is probably why he don’t hear his songs very often.

Luckily, Swanand Kirkire is now back with the title song of Uttaran on Colors – every weeknight at 10 p.m. Check it out below.

For those who are still wondering on who Swanand Kirkire is – check out his wiki profile.

And check out this video – where a car drive in the rains captures the perfect blend of Swanand’s rugged voice and Shubha Mudgal’s soothing rendition.

My name is Manish. And I have little idea on why people call me Manishwa. But I get called names that are a lot more worse.

This is an experimental blog. I have no idea on what to blog about. So I might end up writing about everything I like, dislike and am indifferent to. And given the fact that I am a mega-megalomaniac like most bloggers are, I might write a lot more about myself than anything else. Hope you can tolerate that.

For those who have read me on other blogs, I would like to do things a bit differently for now – at least for a few days till I make up my mind on what this blog is going to be all about. Most posts will not be long-lengthy columns. This has two advantages. It saves my time. And it saves your troubles as well – as you don’t have to waste a lot of time out here.

I am not even sure how long this site would run. For, I have lately aborted a number of projects I have started – all because I easily get bored.

So, till Manishwa.com lasts, enjoy the blogwa.

- Manish