Posts from — December 2008

Tina Munim gets a boat, while Rajesh Khanna sinks

The leading couple of the 80s – Rajesh Khanna and Tina Munim – now Tina Ambani are both in news – but for entirely different reasons.

While Tina Munim managed to extract a Rs.400 crore yatch from her billionaire husband, Anil Ambani, her ex-lover boy Rajesh Khanna ended up doing a sleazy film called “Wafaa” with a few steamy scenes with a 20–year old that has left his fans fuming.

Had Tina stuck with Kaka… she probably wouldn’t want to even entertain that thought.

December 22, 2008   6 Comments

A World Without Men…

DNA India pulls out a study out of thin air and warns us that the day isn’t far away when the world will have no men. Nor beer, nor football.

Researchers believe that the Y chromosome, which is vital for the production of a male offspring, is getting  depleted in every new generation of the male species. It points out that there will be a change of 10 per cent in the fertility of men in new generations to come.

Now this scenario has made me extremely curious. I wonder who the women will curse, blame, argue with and throw the rolling pins at?

December 20, 2008   4 Comments

The Prime Minister’s Son-in-Law: The Handsome Waiter

Yet another of PM Manmohan Singh’s daughter has authored a book. This time it is Daman, who has authored Nine-by-Nine, to be published by Harper Collins – a novel based on her experiences in a Delhi hostel.

Apparently, Daman’s hubby Ashok didn’t pay much attention to the book and here’s what Daman did.

“It was a relief to encounter the enormous lack of curiosity of my husband Ashok over my book and I rewarded him by naming the most handsome waiter in my hostel mess after him,” said Daman.

Luckily, my wife isn’t a novelist. If she was one, I am pretty sure I would have ended up as the guy who did the dishes at the her hostel.  Wives can be so vengeful…

December 20, 2008   1 Comment

The Ghajini Noughts and Crosses…

The Ghajini hairstyle is much in vogue. Looks like an innovative field where you can play noughts and crosses.

Aamir_khan_hairstyle-735185

December 19, 2008   3 Comments

Gandhi Vs. Bachchan

This should be a pretty old pic. Now that Aishwarya Rai has married into the Bachchan household – such a meeting is close to impossible. Not with both smiling in any case.

Aiswarya-rai-leaders-sonia-gandhi

December 19, 2008   2 Comments

The Wife’s Surname

I might be the from the rare breed of husbands who gets addressed by the wife’s surname. My wife’s last name happens to be Kumar – and I get addressed as Mr.Kumar more than I am addressed by my real surname.

No, it doesn’t have to do anything with the fact that she earns more than me, she goes out to work and I am a house-husband (who does unproductive things like blogging) or I am the one who is assigned to do the dishes. But I am still the one who wears the trousers (Ok, boxer shorts), while she wears the ridiculously priced sarees and salwar suits.

Yet, I am supposed to be Mr. Kumar. And it has to do more with circumstances rather than my own choice. Allow me to explain.

When we got married, she already had a bunch of educational qualifications, professional certifications, bank accounts and tax accounts – all with her maiden name “Kumar”. It was a pain to try and change all that – so we continued with unchanged names for all official purposes. Now, the lady has the habit of issuing cheques – even for paltry sums. So everyone – from the doodhwala, cablewala to the kiraana ki dukaan were issued cheques. And all had the signatory as a certain “Mrs.Kumar”. And suddenly everyone in the neighbourhood thought that this my name was Kumar.

And whenever I walked out – all greeted me politely. “Kya haal hai Kumaar Saab?” I usually clenched my fists, returned my best fake smile – all the while muttering – saale, Kumar mere sasure ka naam hai. Things kept getting worse. All her colleagues thought that I was Mr.Kumar. All calls from them addressed me as Mr. Kumar – and wedding invitations were always addressed to Mrs. And Mr.Kumar. Soon, I got used to it.

That brings me to the Why-The-Hellwa question: why can’t the husband take the wife’s surname? Why does it always have to be the other way round? Or simpler still, why do they have to change names in the first place? There are some Maharashtrians and Bongs who go on to force-change the wife’s first-name after a wedding as well – but you can’t expect much from these idiots.

Let’s assume I have an aunt called Raffu Chakkar. Who goes on to marry someone called Champu Darzi at the ripe young age of 52. Now, why should my bechaari aunt be called Raffu Darzi? Why can’t my uncle now be called Champu Chakkar? Doesn’t the latter sound so attractive, amazing and alliterative?

The patriarchal society is dead. The fact that Eve was created from Adam’s ribs sounds good only on a Sunday afternoon. Still there are people (and courts) who create such a fuss when somebody decides to take his wife’s surname.

That brings me to the Bollywood’s so called first-family.  The first-family of nautanki to be precise. Why should the former Miss World be called Aishwarya Bachchan after her wedding?

Let’s try and compare things between Aishwarya and Abhishek. She earns more than him, has a lot more fans, has more Google searches, has more hit films, is a lot more smarter (he fell for her didn’t he?), is more sexier than him, and commands a better price. So why shouldn’t the Dostana stud be called Abhishek Rai?

Give me one reason why Aishwarya Rai’s trophy-husband shouldn’t be called Abhishek Rai.

Fortunately, there are people who don’t mind taking up their wife’s surname. Click here, here or here for more stories.

December 19, 2008   10 Comments

Aamir’s 8-pack and my 6-pack

If you are wondering on how Aamir got himself those 8-packs for Ghajini, here are a couple of videos that explain the 13 month torture he had to go through. Check out the videos here and here.

After Shah Rukh’s 6-pack and Aamir’s 8-pack, there has to be a mathematical progression. Maybe Salman or Sanjay Dutt’s 10–pack is next.

Meanwhile, I am content with my 6-pack. Of Budweisers.

December 19, 2008   6 Comments

Sock and Awe George Bush

The widely reported and much welcomed shoe-throwing incident at George W. Bush has already inspired an Internet flash based game – where you get a chance to hit the prez with a brown shoe. And it’s called Sock and Awe.

Interestingly, the site which has received millions of hits – has the highest number of shoe-throwers from USA, France, Australia and then followed by UAE and Saudi Arabia.

Given the fact that everyone in belonging to the Mumbai’s elite and the media has monetised the terror attack, I am surprised that nobody has released the Terror at Taj video game yet.

“The terrorists are holed up at the Taj hotel in Mumbai and you are among the special forces who have to raid the hotel rooms–hunting down the terrorists and hostages.”

Aah, I should have filed a patent for this, instead of blogging it. How stupid of me.

December 18, 2008   1 Comment

Sex Horrorscope 2009

The Times of India has released its Love and Sex Horoscope for 2009, imaginatively titled Love-o-scope - written by experts from Astroyogi and Ganesha Speaks. Check out a few samples:

Revamp your daily schedule to find more time for sex. Prolonged foreplay helps in feeling the depth of love making.

Getting intimate with someone other than your partner causes trouble.

Sexual bliss lies in seeking variety. Right from positions to places – a change is what you want. Adventure in open places helps in enjoying togetherness.

Food can be your way to pleasure. If a balanced diet keeps you healthy, gorging on aphrodisiacs will spark up the sex front!

Change the way you make love. Don’t hurry-up. Go for enough foreplay to excite your partner. Don’t miss a chance to exchange a sweet dialouge during love making. Showering your partner with gifts won’t be a bad option, especially gadgets that are related to communication like CDs, cell phones etc.

Now, I know my new year resolution for 2009. Celibacy.

December 18, 2008   3 Comments

Dasvidaniya: Three Things You Would Like To Do Before You Die…

Finally got to watch Dasvidaniya. I know that people say it’s very similar to The Bucket List, but it is a wonderful film with Vinay Pathak at his best. It is really is a charming film charming tale of a man spending his final few months – doing what he always wanted to do. If you had missed it on the big screen, try getting a copy of the DVD which is out now.

But Dasvidaniya makes me think – if I knew I had just three more months to live – thanks to illness, an astrologer or the Big Bang Experiment – what are the three things I would like to do – before I finally retire.

For the moment, I really can’t make up my mind – because the list seems to be endless. So I might put the question to you:

What are the three things you would like to do, if you knew that you have just a few months to go before you say Dasvidaniya?

December 18, 2008   No Comments